Halloween In West Virginia

Halloween In West Virginia: “we didn’t steal your candy mister”

T’was a cold and dark night in the town of Thomas, West Virginia. We arrived just before the midnight passed upon driving down roads that remind me much of "The Land Before Time" Disney movie. I was greeted at the Brew Pub by a man with hollow eyes holding a glowing orange pumpkin. "Somebody stole my candy!" he shouted to the crowd of goons, goblins, and pregnant teenagers. Already feeling as if I were part of a new movie called "Fear & Loathing in West Virginia," I decided to go to the bathroom and relieve the beverages from my 8-hour travel day. Standing stoic in front of the urinal was a black and white nun with a newly budding mustache. I said a hail mary, chuckled, and went about the party.



Meanwhile, Ryan was already making friends in the dance hall when I joined up with him. He was chatting with a 4 foot man in a baby blue onesie. "You boys aren’t from around here," Mr.Onesie asked, puzzled by our blue jeans, button down shirts, and NPR demeanor. "No we’re from Massachusetts," Ryan said proudly, "What are you doing here?" The tiny man then tipped up on his tiny toes to look around the room…. "I don’t know, but I’d like to be that pirate’s captive." He quickly disappeared into the crowd, under legs and limbs, to dance with the pirate and the pirate’s mother, who was at this time assisting the "Candy Man" looking for his beloved "candy."



The band continued to grove as the guitar player, dressed in a full body green Kermit the frog outfit, soloed. Suddenly the "Candy Man" was dirty dancing with the pregnant teenager and I was caught between a bearded trap and a 7 foot nun. Some would say that it was about time I go, I just say this is another day at the office.